Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Discouraged

5:27 AM 5/9/2006
     I've been awake for a while; I'm going to try to get back to sleep.  Yesterday, I just felt so great ... was thinking that my back almost felt "normal", whatever that is.  Later on in the day, I had some work to do on the computer, and spent several hours doing that.  THEN, my back began bothering me in all the areas.
   I took some gin & some aspirins ... and slept for quite a while.   NOW, my midback/ribs are really in agony after sitting at the computer for a while longer.  BACK TO BED.

8:46 AM 5/10/2006
     I haven't been very good at documenting the ups-&-downs of my back situation during each day as I usta ... Maybe, in a way, that might be a good sign; it is mostly horrible discomfort that has me making another entry?
     Overall ... my back seems to be "better" than it was a year ago ... which is sorta a "back-handed" compliment ... it doesn't take just too much to be "better" than it was a year ago!
     With me ... it is a positive statement to say, "Well, it's not WORSE!".  It is still so discouraging to be so broke, and, for the first time in my life, not being able to get at least a part-time job.  Most, if not all, of my past occupations would not be possible now, anyways.
    Even a sitting down job is totally out of the question, as I have found out the painful way.  I had hoped to at least do some craftwork ... but, that causes real problems, esp in my mid-back & ribs ... like after just a short time sitting at my craft table.  I even used a short stool so that I wouldn't be leaning down & over.
     Driving?  I just cannot predict how my back will feel at any given time, so, could not be a reliable employee.  If I were transporting people, I might not be able to assist a passenger in a difficulty or emergency.  I certainly could not transport ANYTHING that would need moving!  I was so disappointed to learn that a "part-time, substitute" rural mail carrier job was out of the question ... when I was told that I'd have to spend some time sorting my mail, then, putting it into my car.  Even the sorting makes me hurt just thinking about it!
     My Social Security Disability just does not cover my monthly expenses, & it doesn't take much to get behind ... like when the car needs repair, etc.

http://journals.aol.com/lowis6535/UpperPeninsulaMIandbeyond/

Thursday, May 4, 2006

How good not to feel bad!

     THE NURSE FROM THE PAIN CLINIC MADE A FOLLOW-UP PHONE CALL TO ME THIS MORNING; IT WAS SO GREAT TO BE ABLE TO TELL HER THAT I HAD ONLY MINOR DISCOMFORT TODAY!

     And, I told her that when I went into the Pain Clinic yesterday, my mid-back was increasingly cramping & it was getting awful ... but, immediately after the "lumbar facets" ... I could feel the relief ... & I told my nurse how blissful that was ... and & was sure that my whole back was relaxing.

    I had mentioned to my sister to check upon them for my Mom.

L o i s
my website: Crystal Falls, MI